The Turning Leaf Journal

I Can’t Find God
By Sukriti Patny

and my husband can’t find 
the tomatoes I kept in our kitchen 
this morning. I fret 
over the future– 
attempting to make a list 
that will determine if I should 
make a baby. I want to run away
from pain, but it has found me. 
For it is not a man, and I am not 
a tomato–a fruit frolicking in the middle 
of the vegetable basket,
or the magic words 
we are foraging for in this dark
uncertain forest of conception
to convince me that I am brave. 
I slice them open–juice leaking, 
seeds spilling. The tomatoes taste 
of old wounds and fresh sunlight. 
Breakfast turns into a flood
of tomatoes and tears that seem to say
I will be okay. I will find God 
in the middle of my body someday.

---

Sukriti Patny (she/her) is a poet by dawn, and an overthinker by day. Her work explores the intersection of emotion and the body and hopes to highlight the reverence that nature invokes in her. Her poems have been published in wildscape literary journal, Humana Obscura, Gather and the If You Ever Anthology. She currently lives in Hyderabad, India with her husband and her anxiety. Find more of her writing on Instagram @wordsbysu and Substack – sukritipatny.substack.com

---

Artwork Source: “Self Tenderness,” Of Thousands

Artist Statement: Politics in the United States has isolated so many. This piece is a call for the people to connect and break out of our bubbles to create a world beyond the systems that keep so many marginalized people stuck.

Eli (Of Thousands) is a queer Wisconsin transplant residing in Chicago. They’re inspired by their found family, fashion, and the intersection of city and nature, working daily in mixed media. Most of their work deals with queer experience, searching for the concept of home, and reciprocal care.