I CAN’T EXPLAIN THE STATE THAT I’M IN—THE STATE OF MY HEART
after “The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out to Get Us!” by Sufjan Stevens
By William Bortz
I won’t ever stop tightening the rivets of my appreciation until it holds / thinking outrageously, I
pierce a stale afternoon’s sunbeam with the tip of my finger / with the purest blood ribbon in my
hand / the state that I’m in is wonder / and everything is a fragment of something holier than I
can hold / I have empty hands and a good name for everything / there is still so much of me that
doubts there is an end to any river / all the small instances of brilliance simply flow slowly to
coagulation / how could there be a collection of it all / a shimmering sea in constant movement /
where nothing is too heavy / where nothing sinks / if I don’t believe this, will every noise from
an early-risen bird fail to blossom into a song / every shimmering silhouette of a tree swaying in
front of a moon remains winter instead of sprouting into spring / I pull my finger from the
column of light / and become a shadow
William Bortz (he/him) is a husband, father, poet, and editor from Des Moines, IA. His poems appear in Button Poetry, Okay Donkey, Oxidant Engine, Empty Mirror, Turnpike Magazine, Back Patio Press, the Lyrical Iowa Anthology, and others. He is the author of The Grief We’re Given and Many Small Hungerings. Growing up, William spent time in foster care, in homelessness, and in shelters. His aim in writing is to explore how joy lives in uncertainty and mourning. William loves music and basketball. A lot.
Artwork Source: “Throw an Old Line Out to Sea,” Maria Pianelli Blair
Artist Statement: “Throw an Old Line Out to Sea” is an analog collage exploring the beauty of possibility.
Maria Pianelli Blair is a writer and multidisciplinary artist based in New Jersey. Her artwork has been published in Contemporary Collage Magazine; FEELS Zine; Photo Trouvee Magazine; and Chill Mag, among other publications, and featured in both galleries and virtual exhibitions. Her writing has been published in Gypsophila Magazine, swim press, StepAway Magazine, the Staten Island Advance, and New Paltz Times. You can follow her on Instagram @strange_sunsets.
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